The Real Reason You Can’t Stay Well (It’s Not What You Think): People sell wellness as a formula: eat well, exercise more, sleep better, and deal with stress. But what if you’re doing all of that and still don’t feel right?

Not much energy. Fog in the brain. Changes in mood. A feeling of being cut off. Not all of these symptoms come from not eating well or not getting enough sleep. You might be doing everything “right” and still not getting better.

The truth is uncomfortable:

• It’s not just physical exhaustion that keeps you from getting better; it’s emotional and energetic exhaustion as well.
• Biometrics Are Not the Only Way to Be Healthy
• Being healthy doesn’t just mean not being sick. True wellness is a state of inner alignment, which means that your emotional, mental, physical, and even spiritual health are all in balance.

Let’s go over that step by step:

• Physical Wellness: Eating well, getting enough sleep, staying hydrated, and moving your body.
• Emotional Wellness: Being honest with your feelings, practicing self-compassion, and dealing with your feelings in the moment.
• Mental health means having healthy ways of thinking, dealing with stress, and being mentally strong.
• Energetic Wellness: Protecting your peace, living in line with your values, and staying away from toxic people and places.
• We are often very good at taking care of the physical…
• But we ignore, push away, or distract ourselves from the emotional and energetic parts of ourselves.

The Hidden Forces That Are Hurting Your Health

Here are the real reasons why people can’t stay healthy, according to both psychology and biology.

You’re emotionally blocked

• People today don’t want to show their feelings. People tell us to “be strong,” “stay positive,” or “keep going.” But what about all those feelings that aren’t said?
• They don’t go away. They stay in your body as chronic tension, inflammation, and problems with the nervous system.
• 💡 Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, who wrote The Body Keeps the Score, says that trauma that hasn’t been dealt with and emotional suppression can change how the body handles stress, immune function, and even digestion.

You Can’t Stop Overdoing It

• People who do too much are rewarded by society. People praise you for working hard, not for getting better. But this need to do, achieve, and make things without enough rest makes the nervous system tired.
• Signs that you’re doing too much:
• You can’t sit still without feeling bad.
• You crash on the weekends or when you’re on vacation.
• You mix up rest and being lazy.
• Burnout isn’t just being tired; it’s losing touch with meaning and yourself. — Christina Maslach, a researcher on burnout

Your nervous system is in survival mode

• Even if you’re not “stressed” in the usual way, your body may still be stuck in fight, flight, freeze, or fawn mode.

Signs:

• Shoulders and jaw are tense.
• Problems with the gut (IBS, bloating, indigestion)
• Problems with sleep
• Hormonal problems
• Not being able to feel happiness
• Why? Because you’re working from a place of survival, not safety.
• This can happen because of:
• Trauma from childhood or patterns of trying to please others
• Too much stimulation all the time (noise, screens, alerts)
• Places that aren’t safe for your feelings

You’re Not Living in Harmony

• You can drink celery juice every morning, but your body knows if you’re in a bad job, a one-sided relationship, or not listening to your inner voice.
• Stress comes from misalignment, which leads to internal conflict.
• And stress that lasts a long time? It hurts your immune system, messes up your hormones, and makes you more likely to get sick.
• “When you betray yourself to fit in, you give up your health.” — Gabor Maté, MD

What Real Wellness Looks Like

• It’s not expensive, stylish, or trendy. It’s easy, but not always comfortable.
• To really stay healthy, you need:
• ✅ Being honest about your feelings
• Stop keeping your feelings inside. Cry if you need to. Be angry. Say when you’re not okay.
• ✅ Control of the Nervous System
• Try doing grounding exercises every day:
• The 4-7-8 method for deep breathing
• Being in the cold
• Toning the vagus nerve (humming, singing, gargling)
• Gentle exercises like yoga or walking
• Setting Boundaries
• Don’t say sorry when you say “no.” Get rid of things that drain you. Take care of your energy as if your life depended on it—because it does.
• ✅ Rest That Isn’t Deserved
• People should have the right to rest, not just as a reward. Get some sleep. Get 8 to 9 hours of sleep. Do “nothing” without feeling bad.

Living with a Purpose

• Change your life so that it revolves around what you care about, not what other people want you to do. This change makes you feel better inside and makes your emotions more consistent.
• Your Wellness Inventory: Questions to Ask Yourself
• What am I pretending doesn’t bother me?
• What feelings have I been trying to avoid?
• What or who is taking my energy, and why am I still putting up with it?
• Am I trying to get healthy so I look good or so I feel good?
• What would my body say if it could talk?
• Last thought: Your body knows when you’re lying to yourself.
• You can eat clean, lift heavy, and drink all the adaptogens you want, but if your soul is tired, your body will let you know.
• Adding more routines won’t help you get better. It’s about getting rid of what doesn’t fit anymore.
• Stop pretending. More presence.
• Not as much stress. More calm.

The healing process begins when you stop doing wellness and start being it.